Genre: Adventure, Drama, Period
Release Date: March 7
Cast: Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Omar Sharif
Scoop: In a remote mountain tribe, young hunter D’Leh (Steven Strait) loves beautiful Evolet (Camilla Belle). But when a band of mysterious warlords raid his village and kidnap her, D’Leh leads a small group of hunters to pursue them to the end of the world to save Evolet. Venturing into unknown lands, they discover civilizations beyond their own imagination.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Dessert anyone? Epic scenes of saber-toothed, woolly-mammothed beasts battling bronzed, hard-bodied, dread-locked warriors on a mission to bring back prehistoric peace–likely, a good guilty pleasure for $12 spent.
Snapshot Prediction: 3.5 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Crime, Drama, Period, Thriller
Release Date: March 7
Cast: Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows, Stephen Campbell Moore
Scoop: The true story of a 1970’s London bank heist in which a group of burglars tunnel through to the blocked basement of a bank, where they end up stealing the contents of the safety deposit boxes which contain compromising photographs and other evidence of wrong-doing by major politicians and business people.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: British underground anything is always well-worth sampling; so, we’ll include a bank heist film in that category.
Snapshot Prediction: 4 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Comedy, Family, Road Trip
Release Date: March 7
Cast: Martin Lawrence, Raven Symone
Scoop: Melanie (Raven Symone) is eager to take her first big step towards independence, planning a “girls only” road trip to check out prospective universities. But, when her imposing police-chief dad (Martin Lawrence) insists on escorting her instead, she soon finds her dream trip turning into a nightmare full of drama–though the bickering may just bring them closer.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Look out Olsens, there’s another kiddie child star all grown up, who also knows the words: build your own empire–and she flies solo! Yes, Raven, who has a cultish, rock star following produces this predictable, pratfalling, perfectly cast roadtrip flick costarring Lawrence, which is guaranteed to bring in the big audiences. Ms. Mogul Symone should be teaching grad school with her smarts!
Snapshot Prediction: 2.5 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: adaptation, romance, period, drama
Release Date: March 7
Cast: Pierce Brosnan, Chris Cooper, Patricia Clarkson, Rachel McAdams
Scoop: Besotted Harry (Chris Cooper) decides he must kill his wife Pat (Patricia Clarkson) because he loves her too much to let her suffer, as he intends to leave her for his much-younger girlfriend Kay (Rachel McAdams). His best friend Richard (Pierce Brosnan) wants to win Kay for himself. As Harry implements his awkward plans for murdering his wife, the other characters are occupied with their own deceptions and passions, while struggling to avoid hurting others.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: A noir-ish mature, darkly sly film about marriage, relationships, temptation, crime and living in the shadows of honesty–looks like a pitch-perfect mood is about to be set … just ask the Rachel‘s alluring blonde at the film’s center.
Snapshot Prediction: 4.5 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Genre: Adaptation, Comedy, Drama, Period
Release Date: March 7
Cast: Frances McDormand, Amy Adams, Shirley Henderson, Lee Pace, Ciaran Hinds
Scoop: In 1939 London, Miss Guinevere Pettigrew (Frances McDormand) is a seasoned governess who’s been unfairly fired. Penniless, she intercepts an employment assignment and is catapulted into the glamorous, dizzying social world of an American actress, Delysia Lafosse (Amy Adams). Taking on the role of “social secretary,” she helps Delysia navigate a love life and career–both complicated by the three alluring men in Delysia’s orbit.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Is this how Victoria’s Secret began? Looks like the ladies of 1939 had their own Project Runway. Why not pull up your own front row seat for some boogie-woogie hijinx.
Snapshot Prediction: 3.5 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Comedy, Family, Foreign, Sci-Fi
Release Date: March 7
Cast: Stephen Chow, Xu Jiao, Zhang Yuqi
Scoop: Ti (Steven Chow), a poor father works night and day so he can send his son Dicky (Xu Jiao) to an elite private school. Despite Ti’s good intentions Dicky still stands out because of his dirty and tattered clothes. Ti can barely afford the school tuition so there’s no money leftover for toys–instead he goes to the junkyard to collect parts to make a toy where he discovers an orb which reveals itself as a bizarre “pet.”
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Arriving on our shores is a tale centered on a boy, played by a girl, brought to you by Kung Fu Hustle‘s ‘out there’ director Stephen Chow. Let the games begin!
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Snow Angels
Genre: Adaptation, Drama
Release Date: March 7
Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell, Michael Angarano, Amy Sedaris, Olivia Thirlby
Scoop: Annie (Kate Beckinsale) is a young mother struggling to make ends meet by waiting tables. Her marriage to high school sweetheart Glenn (Sam Rockwell) is coming to an end. She has few friends and leans on her co-workers for support: high schooler Arthur (Michael Angarano) whom she used to baby-sit and happily married Barb (Amy Sedaris). Glenn tries to rebuild his life by getting a job, meanwhile, but it may be too late.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: We’re so used to seeing Kate all leathered-out and fighting werewolves, it’s a treat to catch her looking just like you and me. Let’s hope, though, that the film’s a little more exciting that what meets the eye here.
Snapshot Prediction: 2.5 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Action, Political, Thriller
Release Date: March 14
Cast: Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Alexander Siddig, Adrian Lester
Scoop: A lethal virus, the Reaper, spreads in Scotland, killing hundreds of thousands. Containing the epidemic, the authorities, succumbing to fear and chaos, brutally quarantine the survivors. The quarantine apparently works, but 25 years later the virus violently resurfaces in London. An elite group of specialists led by Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra) is urgently dispatched to the forsaken survivors in the hopes of retrieving a cure by any means necessary.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Escaping from the eighties can be tough, when you haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in years. Set in the future, this flick already feels a little tired, but we’ll give it a shot–maybe.
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Funny Games
Genre: Drama, Horror, Remake, Thriller
Release Date: March 14
Cast: Naomi Watts, Tim Roth, Brady Corbet, Michael Pitt, Devon Gearhart
Scoop: While her husband and son are sailing, Ann (Naomi Watts) finds herself face to face with a polite young man, the neighbors’ guest Peter, who has come to ask for some eggs, on behalf of his host. Ann is about to give Peter (Brady Corbet) the eggs, but hesitates. How did he get onto their property? Things seem strange from the beginning. Soon, violence erupts.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: The preppy, deranged combo is always unsettling–but with white gloves!?! Let’s hope Naomi can deliver a good caddy ass–whoppin‘ on these scary Polo Lauren’d young uns’.
Snapshot Prediction: 4 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Adaptation, Animation, Family
Release Date: March 14
Cast: Voices of Jim Carrey, Steve Carell, Dan Fogler, Carol Burnett, Seth Rogen, Isla Fisher, Amy Poehler, Jonah Hill
Scoop: An imaginative elephant, Horton, hears a faint cry for help coming from a tiny speck of dust floating in the air. Although he doesn’t know it yet, that speck houses an entire city named Who-ville, inhabited by the microscopic Whos. Despite being ridiculed and threatened by his neighbors, who think he’s lost his mind, Horton is determined to save the particle and find it a new home–because “a person’s a person, no matter how small.”
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Ratatouille–phobia is a hard disease to shorten–especially if you are a clever elephant named Horton .Your box office success shall come without a hitch–so don’t let your fear of Oscar-winning rodents halt you at the bridge.
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Sleepwalking
Genre: Drama
Release Date: March 14
Cast: Charlize Theron, Nick Stahl, AnnaSophia Robb, Woody Harrelson, Dennis Hopper
Scoop: Unstable Jolene (Charlize Theron) needs a place to stay with her 11-year-old kid, Tara (AnnaSophia Robb). She turns to her younger brother, James (Nick Stahl)–a simple, trusting guy who welcomes them into his modest apartment. As soon as she moves in, however, Jolene hits the road. Utterly ill-equipped to be the sole guardian of an adolescent girl, James does his best to make his distraught niece happy. But before long, things spin out of control.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Do rose-colored glasses really make it all better? Well, whatever AnnaSophia‘s looking at has definitely caught her attention. And producer Charlize Theron is banking on this gritty, abuse drama catching yours.
Snapshot Prediction: 3.5 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Comedy
Release Date: March 21
Cast: Owen Wilson, Troy Gentile, Nate Hartley, David Dorfman
Scoop: Ryan (Troy Gentile), Wade (Nate Hartley) and Emmit (David Dorfman) attend their first day at high school and they’re pumped–until they have a run-in with the school bully. The kids soon seek out protection by placing an ad in “Soldier of Fortune” magazine. Their best and cheapest response comes from Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), a down-on-his-luck guy who lives a homeless–he calls “home-free”–existence on the beach. He enrolls them in some physical and mental training.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Superbad goes frosh crashing right into My Bodyguard. Sorry Owen, although we love you, it feels a little been there, done that already.
Snapshot Prediction: 2 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
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Shutter
Genre: Horror, Remake, Thriller
Release Date: March 21
Cast: Rachel Taylor, Joshua Jackson, Maya Hazen
Scoop: A young photographer (Joshua Jackson) and his girlfriend (Rachel Taylor) find ghostly images in his photographs as well as around themselves, while they’re on their honeymoon in Tokyo.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Boooo! I’m a Tokyo ghost and I’ve come back to tell you that taking Polaroids went out of style in the ’80s. No wonder you think you’re seeing things. We’d be scare too!
Snapshot Prediction: 2 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns
Genre: Adaptation, Comedy
Release Date: March 21
Cast: Angela Bassett, Tyler Perry, Jennifer Lewis, Sofia Vergara, Rick Fox
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Scoop: A struggling Chicago single mother, Brenda (Angela Bassett), living paycheck to paycheck, has been trying to support herself and her three children. When she’s laid off with no warning, she finally loses hope, until a letter arrives announcing the death of a father she’d never met. Desperate for any kind of help, Brenda takes her family to Georgia for the funeral where she finds a crass, fun-loving Southern clan–and a possible romance.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Oooh, looks like these divas are just about to throw down–as is Tyler Perry with his annual Madea madness winter sweeps at the box office. With Angela, Jennifer, Rick and another round of hefty Tyler drag, Madea’s dedicated followers will return to the ringside.
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
21
Genre: Adaptation, Crime, Drama
Release Date: March 28
Cast: Kevin Spacey, Jim Sturgess, Kate Bosworth, Laurence Fishburne
Scoop: Ben (Jim Sturgess) is a shy but brilliant M.I.T. student who, needing to pay school tuition, finds the answers in counting cards. He is recruited to join a group of the school’s most gifted students that heads to Vegas every weekend armed with fake identities and the know-how to turn the odds at blackjack in their favor. With unorthodox, genius math professor Micky Rosa (Kevin Spacey) leading the way, they’ve cracked the code; but too seduced by the Vegas lifestyle and his sexy teammate, Jill (Kate Bosworth), Ben begins to push the limits.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: With such a winning cast, our bet’s on this one. But don’t count your chips too soon–the whole ‘Vegas thing’ is a bit overdone these days.
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Flawless
Genre: Crime, Drama, Period
Release Date: March 28
Cast: Demi Moore, Michael Caine
Scoop: In swinging 1960s London, Laura Quinn (Demi Moore) is a bright, driven and beautiful exec at the London Diamond Corporation who finds herself trapped under a glass ceiling after years of faithful employment, as man after man is promoted ahead of her, despite her greater experience. Hobbs (Michael Caine), the nighttime janitor, has amassed a lot of knowledge about how the company runs–and convinces Quinn to help him execute an ingenious plan to steal a thermos full of diamonds.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: First she goes for the younger set–and now this? Apparently diamonds are a girl’s best friend, if even they can lure Demi to de-glam herself–in exchange for a matronly look. With costarring Caine, the movie looks sharp, but let’s hope her Brit accent doesn’t make a cubic zirconium of it.
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Release Date: March 28
Cast: Hank Azaria, Thandie Newton, Simon Pegg
Scoop: Five years ago Dennis (Simon Pegg) was at the altar about to marry Libby (Thandie Newton), his pregnant fiancée until he got cold feet and dashed. He’s been going in circles ever since. When Dennis discovers Libby’s hooked up with high-flying marathoner Whit (Hank Azaria), Dennis enters a marathon to show he’s more than a quitter–and that he’s now worthy of Libby’s hand.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Everyone–save competitive health nuts–hates spin class. So, it’s always better to watch someone do it for you. Pegg shows some leg as he kicks it up a notch in the name of love.
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Drama, War
Release Date: March 28
Cast: Ryan Phillippe, Channing Tatum
Scoop: Decorated Iraq war hero Sgt. Brandon King (Ryan Phillippe) makes a celebrated return to his small Texas hometown following his tour of duty. Brandon tries to resume the civilian life he left behind with the help and support of his family and his best friend, Steve Shriver (Channing Tatum), who served with him in Iraq. Against Brandon’s will, the Army orders him back to duty, and conflict, in Iraq–testing everything in which he believes.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: What is it about a man in uniform? Whatever it is, we’re sure Channing and Ryan Phillippe will each command attention at the box office–and more importantly will shed a little light on service men in civilian crisis.
Snapshot Prediction: 4 out of 5 flashes[PAGEBREAK]
Genre: Comedy, Superhero, Satire, Spoof
Release Date: March 28
Cast: Drake Bell, Christopher McDonald, Pamela Anderson, Tracy Morgan, Sara Paxton, Regina Hall, Leslie Nielsen
Scoop: After being bitten by a genetically altered dragonfly, high school loser Rick Riker (Drake Bell) develops superhuman abilities. Rick decides to use his new powers for good and becomes a costumed crime fighter known as “The Dragonfly.” However, standing in the way of his destiny is the villain known as The Hourglass (Christopher McDonald), who develops the power to steal a person’s life force and in a dastardly quest for immortality.
If a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Brought to you by the caustic makers of Naked Gun and Scary Movie–it’s about time a derivative compilation, superhero spoof emerged from this overdone genre. Yup, it’ll be bad and good at once!
Snapshot Prediction: 2.5 out of 5 flashes
