The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Genre: Action, Adventure, Sequel
Release Date: 08/01/2008
Cast: Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Luke Ford, Maria Bello
Scoop: Rick O’Connell, archaeologist, returns to wrestle with yet another mummy who was accidentally awakened by O’Connell’s son Alex. Apparently, Alex follows in his father’s footsteps. The O’Connells find that the Emperor mummy’s quest for world domination has only intensified while he slept for a millennia.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Come out, come out wherever you are!? Likely to be a hot mix of Indiana Jones meets Big Trouble in Little China, this latest Mummy sequel, serves up a new leading lady for Brendan, along with a new Eastern locale. Wonder if they just stopped to ‘take a moment’ from chasing someone–or from running away? Those mummy shape shifters, you never know where they’ll pop up.
Snapshot Prediction: 3.5 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Comedy
Release Date: 08/01/2008
Cast: Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Nathan Lane, Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tucci, George Lopez, Madeline Carroll
Scoop: Bud Johnson, an apathetic, beer-slinging, lovable loser, is coasting through a life that has passed him by. The one bright spot is his precocious, over-achieving twelve year-old daughter Molly. She takes care of both of them, until one mischievous moment on Election Day, when she accidentally sets off a chain of events which culminates in the election coming down to one vote–her dad’s.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Nobody likes a back seat driver. Even less, a back seat voter. With the mass amounts of mail it appears that the public has spoken…well, written…and everyone has a say on who the final vote should go to. That’s a lot of pressure. Good thing he has his mini-me to help with the decision.
Snapshot Prediction: 3.5 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Horror, Adaptation
Release Date: 08/01/2008
Cast: Bradley Cooper, Vinnie Jones, Brooke Shields, Leslie Bibb
Scoop: When Leon Kaufman’s latest body of work–a collection of provocative, nighttime studies of the city and its inhabitants–earns the struggling photographer interest it propels him to get grittier and show the darker side of humanity for his upcoming debut. Leon’s obsessive pursuit of dark subject matter leads him into the path of a serial killer, Mahogany, the subway murderer who stalks late-night commuters.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Riding the train any time of the day is a nightmare–squished between strangers or worse, standing and risking someone touching you “accidentally”. Working late and being forced to ride the train during the wee hours is terrifying. Could you imagine stepping into a subway car and you’re alone with this guy? What’s in the suitcase! The train car itself looks like a frozen locker. Brrrr. Shiver. Do you feel your lips turning blue?
Snapshot Prediction: 4 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Drama, Crime
Release Date: 08/01/08
Cast: Melissa Leo, Misty Upham, Michael O’Keefe
Scoop: Ray Eddy meets Lila, a young Mahikan woman, who tempts her with quick money if she volunteers her car to smuggle illegal immigrants over the Canadian border thru Mohawk country.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: All dressed up and nowhere to go–head North! The local gas station is always a great place to get gussied up before risking your life driving over a frozen river to transport illegal immigrants into the country. Having previewed this one, we know Melissa Leo, may be getting gussied up again, not as her gun-toting character…but around Oscar time for her stunning performance.
Snapshot Prediction: 4 out of 5 Flashes
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The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Genre: Family, Teen, Adaptation, Sequel
Release Date: 08/06/2008
Cast: America Ferrera, Alexis Bledel, Amber Tamblyn, Blake Lively
Scoop: Lifelong best friends Tibby, Carmen, Bridget and Lena have completed their first year of college and each make different summer plans taking them all over the world. New priorities and rapid changes make it harder for them to keep in touch. Messages are sometimes missed–or misunderstood–but when in doubt they know they can turn to the unexplainable magic of the traveling pants to bring them together.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Insert obligatory “Aww…I can’t believe you guys are here!!” face. The ex-Gilmore Girl looks happily surprised the girls are all back together. And, one comes bearing vegetables! Even though they appear to eat healthy, this sugary story may leave you with a tooth ache.
Snapshot Prediction: 2.5 out of 5 flashes
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Pineapple Express
Genre: Action, Comedy, Thriller, Crime
Release Date: 08/06/2008
Cast: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Amber Heard
Scoop: Lazy stoner Dale Denton has only one reason to visit his equally lazy dealer Saul Silver: to purchase weed, specifically, a rare new strain called Pineapple Express. But when Dale becomes the only witness to a murder by a crooked cop and the city’s most dangerous drug lord, he panics and dumps his roach of Pineapple Express at the scene. Dale now has another reason to visit Saul: to find out if the weed is so rare that it can be traced back to him. And it is.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Two words: Tighty whities. They’re are always worth a good raunchy laugh. What were these two up to prior to the fire, that they emerge half-dressed? Or, rather half-baked?! Either way, looks like the shenanigans are outrageous. Our advice for this movie: suck it in gooood!
Snapshot Prediction: 4 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Comedy, Drama
Release Date: 08/06/2008
Cast: Bill Pullman, Freddy Rodriguez, Chris Pine, Rachel Taylor, Eliza Dushku
Scoop: Jim Barrett has sacrificed everything in life to realize his dream of creating the perfect Chateau Montelena. Yet despite the fact that Jim’s Napa Valley vineyard has great potential, his son, Bo, doesn’t seem to have much interest in the family business. The year is 1976 and California has yet to make it on to wine connoisseur’s radar but this father and son team’s lives are forever transformed at a blind Paris wine tasting that introduces the world to the extraordinary wines of Napa Valley.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: This is straight out of a post card with the rolling hills, young couple…drunk off wine. Can’t you just hear Barry White in the background, “Let’s get it onnnn.” If this cheers is post-Paris wine tasting they’re saying, “Here’s to being very, very rich. Our kids will be rich. And their kids will be rich.”
Snapshot Prediction: 2.5 out of 5 flashes
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Tropic Thunder
Genre: Comedy
Release Date: 08/13/2008
Cast: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Jay Baruchel, Justin Theroux, Nick Nolte, Brandon Jackson, Steve Coogan
Scoop: A group of self-absorbed actors set out to make the biggest war film ever. After ballooning costs–and the out of control egos of the pampered cast–threaten to shut down the movie, the frustrated director refuses to stop shooting, leading his cast deep into the jungles of Southeast Asia for “increased realism,” where they inadvertently encounter real bad guys.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Looks like Iron Man’s got a “new face”–it’s soooo shocking, even Ben Stiller looks transfixed in the jungle. A movie filled with many layers of danger, Tropic definitely goes there–and one already wonders how far it will take it? Well, they’re actually thespians playing thespians so we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, and roll with the good intentions for the subversively eyebrow-raising dark comedy.
Snapshot Prediction: 4 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Historical, Documentary, Foreign, Adaptation
Release Date: 08/15/08
Cast: Philippe Petit, Jean-Louis Blondeau, Annie Allix
Scoop: On August 7th 1974, a young Frenchman named Philippe Petit stepped out on a wire illegally rigged between New York’s Twin Towers, then the world’s tallest buildings. After nearly an hour dancing on the wire, he was arrested, taken for psychological evaluation, and brought to jail before he was finally released.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: A breathtaking moment for both the people below, and the absolutely graceful high wire artist, who committed the ‘art crime of the century’ deed. Few words can do it justice–it evokes a sense of fear, curiosity, and excitement all at once. And that we get to see the Twin Towers, once again, front and center, and looking awe-inspiring; who can overlook this film’s potential impact?
Snapshot Prediction: 4.5 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Comedy, Drama, Religion
Release Date: 08/15/2008
Cast: Luke Wilson, Adriana Barraza, Radha Mitchell, Cheryl Hines, George Lopez, Morgan Lily
Scoop: Henry Poole is a disillusioned man who attempts to hide from life in a rundown suburban tract home in L.A. His self-imposed exile is shattered when his nosey neighbor, Esperanza, discovers a mysterious stain on Henry’s stucco wall that is seen to have miraculous powers. Although he remains skeptical, Henry finds himself gradually drawn back towards life.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: This is a great place for skateboarding or drag-racing Grease style–or to get away and collect your thoughts. This movie looks to serve up much contemplation.
Snapshot Prediction: 3.5 out of 5 flashes
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Mirrors
Genre: Thriller, Horror
Release Date: 08/15/2008
Cast: Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Ezra Buzzington
Scoop: Ben Carson is head of security at a department store plagued by unexplained deaths. The store is also the target of demonstrators wanting compensation for an earlier staff fire tragedy. He becomes intrigued by a disturbed woman who claims her sister, who died in the fire, is exacting revenge, using mirrors as a gateway back into the living world.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Is shining a flashlight into a mirror the same idea of saying “Bloody Mary” three times in the bathroom mirror? Could it be…is that Bloody Mary’s hand print? The night guardsmen examines the print quite intensely, like most thriller flicks, versus getting the heck out of there. The print looks like it might just reach out and grab him. This scene is eerily familiar, hint: The Ring, The Ring 2, The Grudge, The Grudge 2
Snapshot Prediction: 2.5 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Sci-fi, Fantasy, Animated
Release Date: 08/15/2008
Cast: Voices of Christopher Lee, Anthony Daniels, Matthew Wood, Matt Lanter
Scoop: As the Clone Wars sweep through the galaxy, the heroic Jedi Knights struggle to maintain order and restore peace. Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan learner Ahsoka Tano find themselves on a mission with far-reaching consequences, one that brings them face-to-face with crime lord Jabba the Hutt.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: The Jedi master is back and he takes on a ‘different’ form this time around–he comes across just as wise and powerful.
Snapshot Prediction: 4.5 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Release Date: 08/15/08
Cast: Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson, Rebecca Hall, Patricia Clarkson
Scoop: Vicky and Cristina, two young Americans, spend a summer in Spain and meet a flamboyant artist and his beautiful but insane ex-wife. Vicky is straight-laced and about to be married. Cristina is a sexually adventurous free spirit. When they all become amorously entangled, both comedic and harrowing results ensue.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Is she taking a stop along the “walk of shame” (with bed-head and all); or is she throwing caution to the wind, with suspicion and other more pressing issues on her plate. Either way, we’re getting a sense she’s definitely a hot mess. More emphasis, though, on the hot. The camera just adds another dynamic to the mystery.
Snapshot Prediction: 4.5 out of 5 flashes
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Fly Me to the Moon
Genre: Comedy, Family, Animated, Foreign
Release Date: 08/15/2008
Cast: Kelly Ripa, Nicollette Sheridan, Edwin E. Aldrin Jr., Christopher Lloyd, Tim Curry, Ed Begley Jr Robert Patrick
Scoop: Three young flies set off on a courageous mission to become the first insects on the moon by hitching a ride on the historic Apollo 11 space flight. Nat and his pals, IQ and Scooter, are abuzz over the upcoming launch of the first manned mission to the moon. The boys are inspired by Nat’s Grandpa’s oft-told tale of hiding aboard Amelia Earhart’s plane during her famed solo cross-Atlantic flight.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: “One small step for man…”. And, one teeny, tiny one for flies. But, big to them! These flyboys look like they are having the time of their life–they haven’t gotten to the moon yet, they must be just testing out the suits. Their plan to tag along on the rocket is ingenious; it’s smart of them to do a test-run with soda!
Snapshot Prediction: 3.5 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Drama
Release Date: 08/22/08
Cast: Harrison Ford, Ashley Judd, Ray Liotta, Alice Braga, Summer Bishil, Merik Tadros, Sean Penn, Cliff Curtis
Scoop: Immigrants from around the world enter Los Angeles every day, with hopeful visions of a better life, but little notion of what that life may cost. Their desperate scenarios test the humanity of immigration enforcement officers.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Harrison Ford looks pissed–that must’ve been quite a stain on his shirt. Unfortunately, it’s probably something more serious than a dry cleaning faux pas and it looks like this young woman is being detained.
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5 flashes
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Genre: Comedy, Satire
Release Date: 08/22/2008
Cast: Steve Coogan, Elisabeth Shue, Catherine Keener, David Arquette, Arnie Pantoja, Michael Esparza
Scoop: Dana Marschz is a failed actor-turned-high school drama teacher. Shortchanged in the talent department, Dana still harbors ambitions and passions. He sees himself as an inspirational teacher but his adaptations of popular films are not resonating. After much perspiration, he conceives a sequel to Shakespeare’s Hamlet–a musical-theater extravaganza that will disdain both political correctness and dramatic credibility.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: Teaching is one of the hardest and most challenging professions in the world–but the most needed–thank goodness for the school nurse to give you a lift when you’re feeling down.
Snapshot Prediction: 4.5 out 5 flashes
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Death Race
Genre: Action, Thriller, Sci-fi, Sports
Release Date: 08/22/08
Cast: Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Ian McShane, Tyrese Gibson
Scoop: Adrenalized prison inmates, a global audience hungry for violence, and a spectacular enclosed arena, all come together to form the Death Rac’, the world’s biggest, most brutal sporting event. Jensen Ames is the first con to take on the challenge and will be put through a brutal three day challenge, with the ultimate prize being freedom.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: This is the fiercest staring contest ever! Prison seems to have chilled out in the year 2010. Prisoners are being given cars to race around in. Now, instead of being fearful of being shanked, they have to look out for the stink eye.
Snapshot Prediction: 2.5 out of 5 flashes
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The House Bunny
Genre: Comedy
Release Date: 08/22/08
Cast: Anna Faris, Katharine McPhee, Emma Stone, Rumer Willis, Kat Dennings, Sarah Wright, Matt Leinart
Scoop: Shelley Darlington has lived at the Playboy mansion for the last nine years. She is Hef’s favorite and acts like a den mother to the other girls. On her birthday, she is unceremoniously evicted from Hef’s pad for ‘being too old’ at 27. Homeless and without essential skills, Shelley wanders around L.A. until she finds a new job–the housemother at the most unpopular sorority on campus.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: This bunny looks pretty happy but she may not know that she’s about to be kicked out of the burrow. This cushy lifestyle, bunny pillows and all, is about to come to an end. How can one resist being curious about following the life of an over-the-hill bunny, whose best skills come in the form of, um, rabbit ears.
Snapshot Prediction: 2.5 out of 5 Flashes
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Genre: Drama, Sports
Release Date: 08/22/2008
Cast: Ice Cube, Tasha Smith
Scoop: The true story of Jasmine Plummer, an 11-year old quarterback, who led her team to the Pop Warner football tournament, and became the first female player in the event’s 56-year history.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: When you’re serious about your game from your teens, there can be many levels of pay off. Just ask Ice Cube, who looks like he’d be a chill coach, for this player looks like she’s got game!
Snapshot Prediction: 4 out of 5 flashes
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Babylon A.D.
Genre: Drama, Thriller, Sci-fi, Adaptation
Release Date: 08/29/08
Cast: Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, Vincent Cassel
Scoop: A mercenary charged with delivering a young woman from Russia to Canada learns that she has been manipulated by a synthetic virus–and what lies inside her could doom the human race.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: He’s a little outnumbered with seven lasers on him but we have a feeling ‘ol Vinnie will get himself out of this situation. He’s got his eye on something…and in about two seconds he’s going be kicking butt and taking names.
Snapshot Prediction: 3.5 out of 5 flashes
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Disaster Movie
Genre: Comedy, Spoof
Release Date: 08/29/08
Cast: Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian
Scoop: One fateful night, an unsuspecting group of twenty-somethings try to make their way to safety while every known natural disaster and catastrophic event–asteroids, twisters, earthquakes, the works–hits the city and their path, as they try to solve a series of mysteries to end the rampant destruction.
If a Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, We Say: This group of kids looks oddly familiar–sort of like the “bizzarro world” episode of Seinfeld. Hard to put a finger on it but the red head with the tiara has a striking resemblance to the princess in Enchanted; the man to her right strikes us as a middle-aged version of Fat Albert; and the couple trailing behind them…the skirt over the jeans matched with a sweater cardigan is definitely from the trend-setting Juno.
Snapshot Prediction: 3 out of 5
