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Gossip Girl, Season 1: Ep. 6 ‘The Handmaiden’s Tale’ Preview

Let’s get the preview part out of the way quickly.

Returning to the CW Mar. 3, Gossip Girl delivers a costume bash, some drugs, a little sex, people being mean to each other, and–if we’re really lucky–a giant asteroid crashing into Manhattan and pulverizing the whole cast.

Now that that’s done, let the smackdown begin.

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Admittedly, there’s something criminally wrong with Gossip Girl. The show is a Bonfire of the Vanities with teenagers. Really, it’s only a matter of time until someone ends up dead–preferably by my hand.

But still, like everyone else, I’m mildly enthralled by the weekly train wrecks of the young and dumb. What is not enthralling has nothing to do with the dreg that the CW is beaming into our living rooms, rather the dribble the CW is posting on their own Web sites.

For starters, there’s all that net-preening: On their own Web site, the show formerly known as Gossip Girl is mostly referred to as The Acclaimed Drama Gossip. Hey, CW, saying it’s so doesn’t always make it so.

Furthermore, their site features plenty of sentences like “Gossip Girl online buzz continues to mount.” Are they secretly hoping that no one notices that the majority of that claptrap is self-generated?

To back up such nonsense are plenty of quotes, such as the one from CW President Dawn Ostroff who is quoted as saying, “People everywhere are talking about Gossip Girl.” Really? Who are these people exactly? Seems to me that if a critic really said anything nice about the show, the CW would be sure to post it in bold banner letters across the top of their homepage.

Even worse than those net-icisms is the stuff Gossip Girl actors say when anyone points a camera their way. Not too long ago it was Leighton Meester (who plays Blair Waldorf) pimping for Sunsilk hair products in Times Square. Apparently, Meester changed her hair color for the show (from blonde to brown) and considers this the most “pivotal moment in her life.”

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To quote Monty Python: “Burn her, she’s a witch.”

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