1. A penny for their thoughts… One has to wonder what’s in it for these celebs coming out of the woodwork insisting they’ve witnessed Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ baby Suri. First it was TV star Leah Remini, who publicly insisted the child was “gorgeous,” and now Penelope Cruz is boasting to the press, “She’s one of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen.” Coming up in December, Suri and the two holiday M&Ms all see each other and pass out after exclaiming, “She does exist!” and “They do exist!”
2. Someone give the girl a Quaalude… Ultra conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s view wasn’t that of The View’s when it came down to discussing the FDA’s plan to sell the morning-after pill over the counter during the day’s “hot topics” segment. In fact, Elisabeth got so heated over the subject that a visibly annoyed Barbara Walters was forced to snap, “Elisabeth, calm down!” When the show returned from a commercial break, the distraught Hasselbeck declared her love for her co-hosts before crawling into Walters’ lap to be bizarrely cradled like a baby.
3. Pieces of Her… Irate Marie Claire readers have branded Ashlee Simpson a hypocrite in response to her July cover interview in which the she proclaimed, “Everyone is made differently, and that’s what makes us beautiful and unique. I want girls to look in the mirror and feel confident.” Between the cover interview taking place and publication of the issue, the “Pieces of Me” singer had a nose job and now has long, blonde hair extensions..
4. She’s come clean… Irate Hilary Duff has branded Elle magazine liars in response to her June interview, which implied the 18-year-old “Come Clean” singer was a COUGH—virgin–COUGH. Duff, who is currently dating Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden, said she’d never discuss her sex life. “The thing is that I didn’t say that. I wouldn’t say that. I don’t know how (the writer) got that out of what I said.” We demand to hear the tapes!
5. Now Brenda’s mad, too… Shannen Doherty was apparently so distraught over Star magazine’s claims she had plastic surgery that production had to be halted on her new series, Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty. “I hired a litigator and I’m willing to put as much money behind a lawsuit as humanly possible, just to sort of teach them a lesson,” Shannen vowed during her stint as guest co-star on The View. “I’m actually willing to go so far as to go sit down with whatever plastic surgeon they want to put in front of me who can inspect my face.” Now that would make good TV.
6. It Never Happened. The End… ABC axed Mel Gibson’s miniseries about the Holocaust following his drunken anti-Semitic outburst. We want to know why The Passion of the Christ maker’s idea for a miniseries on the Holocaust was even considered.
7. The year 1989 called. It wants its controversy back… Madonna has been blasted by religious leaders in Rome over the mock-crucifixion stunt planned for her Italian concert. Sound familiar? Madonna provoked religious ire in 1989 with her “Like a Prayer” video. With a new album that’s been labeled more adult Top 40 than mainstream, the pop queen needs a controversy that isn’t 17-years-old.
8. It’s not ugly, it’s just not airbrushed… Kid Rock packed up his game and headed out west where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts—and he got all that in new bride Pam Anderson. But apparently, not even fake boobs can spruce up paparazzi pics. Photographs of Pam partying onboard a yacht with Kid Rock appeared in the tabloids this week, and the former Baywatch star is dismayed to discover paparazzi snapped “the ugliest pictures” of her.
9. Fag hags rejoice… A handful of mani-pedied metrosexuals panicked when Jai Rodriguez announced this week Bravo hadn’t asked the five gay guys back for the 2007 season of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Not true, said Bravo, and announced a whole new season is slated for 2007.
10. Like an oil lease, a movie’s easily disposable… Until this week, Jennifer Lopez hadn’t made a good decision in almost a decade. She broke up with Sean Combs and her street cred flew right out the passenger side window of Puffy’s Lincoln Navigator. She dumped, and then sued, her agent of five years, Benny Medina, and got that rep for being litigious. And when she hooked up with Ben, J.Lo put out her worst album (This Is Me… Then) and her worst film (Gigli) to date. And we won’t even get into her decision to duet with her talented hubby Marc Anthony at the 47th Grammy Awards. But this week, Jennifer broke the spell by quitting the big screen remake of the 1970s TV drama Dallas.
