What happens when a scream queen stops screaming?
Jamie Lee Curtis spent one too many Halloweens on the run from Michael Myers, so she wisely turned to comedy, starting with 1983’s Trading Places.
Neve Campbell went the indie route after The Craft and the Scream trilogy, but her constant canoodling with her female costars no longer proves titillating or enticing.
So who among the current scream queens will stand strong-like Curtis-long after they vanquish the forces of evil?
1. Naomi Watts
Monster Smash: The Ring ($129.1 million)
Frightening Flops: The Shaft (direct to DVD)
Chills to Come: The Ring Two (March 18), King Kong (Dec. 14)
The Bottom Line: Watts wasted no time capitalizing on The Ring‘s success, and she didn’t repeat herself once. True, her post-Ring projects all flopped or failed to find a significant audience outside of the art house circuit, but she secured an all-important Oscar nomination for the uncompromising but gimmicky 21 Grams. Thanks to her career-defining turn in Mulholland Drive, and her willingness after The Ring to take on demanding and unsympathetic roles, Watts is finally enjoying the success that eluded her for years. The Ring Two should give Watts added momentum. And if the appalling 1976 King Kong remake couldn’t destroy Jessica Lange’s career, Peter Jackson‘s version won’t cause Watts any headaches when she expects to be taken seriously in next year’s The Painted Veil.
2. Kate Beckinsale
Monster Smash: Underworld ($51.9 million)
Deathly Disappointment: Van Helsing ($120.1 million)
Frightening Flops: Haunted (direct to video)
Chills to Come: Underworld: Evolution (Dec. 9)
The Bottom Line: OK, so the Underworld bloodsucker looks just as alluring in tight, black leather as The Matrix‘s Carrie-Anne Moss. But she won’t be remembered for this clash between creatures of the night, or the horrendous Van Helsing. It’s a tribute to Beckinsale‘s versatility that she is just persuasive as Cold Comfort Farm‘s comely go-getter, Laurel Canyon‘s sexual blank canvas, and Underworld‘s werewolf-slaying vampire. She transitions from comedy to drama with the greatest of ease, and her classic English beauty allows her to look at home in 1930s London, World War II-era Hawaii, and modern-day New York. She owes everything to hard work and talent, and nothing to serendipity. So let her enjoy her brief-but puzzling-flirtation with vampirism.
3. Christina Ricci
Monster Smashes: The Addams Family ($113.5 million), Casper ($100.3 million), Sleepy Hollow ($101 million)
Deathly Disappointment: Addams Family Values ($48.9 million)
Frightening Flops: Cursed ($15.2 million, through March 6), Bless the Child ($29.3 million)
Chills to Come: The Gathering (TBA)
The Bottom Line: This indie vixen wasted two years on Wes Craven‘s aptly named Cursed, only to see the toothless werewolf yarn take a silver bullet at the box office. The Bottom Line’s already urged Ricci to take a hiatus from horror (Feb. 18, 2005) before things takes a terrifying turn for the worse. A swift return to challenging roles in offbeat offerings will solidify Ricci‘s reputation as one of her generation’s most intriguing talents.
4. Sarah Michelle Gellar
Monster Smashes: Scooby-Doo ($153.2 million), The Grudge ($110.3 million), Scream 2 ($101.3 million), I Know What You Did Last Summer ($72.5 million)
Deathly Disappointment: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed ($84.2 million)
The Bottom Line: Quick, someone find this ex-Vampire Slayer her very own Trading Places. If not, Gellar‘s doomed to dispatching demons for the rest of eternity. She showed a glimmer of promise with her deliciously manipulatively turn in Cruel Intentions, but the failures of Simply Irresistible and Harvard Man drove to her join Mystery Inc. Not even the Ring-like success of The Grudge has prompted Gellar to steer clear of all things supernatural, as she’s about to make the reincarnation-themed Revolver. However, she plans to follow Revolver with Southland Tales, a musical to be directed by Donnie Darko‘s Richard Kelly. If she can hit all the right notes, Gellar might finally muster up the courage to finally leave Sunnydale forever.
5. Milla Jovovich
Monster Smashes: Resident Evil: Apocalypse ($51.2 million), Resident Evil ($40.1 million)
Chills to Come: Ultraviolet (TBA)
The Bottom Line: What is it about this exotic ex-model that mesmerized such celebrated directors as Spike Lee, Richard Linklater, Richard Attenborough and Wim Wenders? Must be the mystery and danger that makes her beauty so beguiling to behold. Sure as hell can’t be her performances, not after being out-acted by zombies, ventriloquist dummies and, gulp, Chris Tucker. But if Jovovich can thrive after the disastrous start that was Return to the Blue Lagoon, her survival instincts will allow her endure long after anyone wants to see her run around in her birthday suit. Too bad, because that means she will ruin more films with her unwelcome presence.
6. Jessica Biel
Monster Smash:The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ($80.5 million)
Deathly Disappointment: Blade: Trinity ($52.4 million)
The Bottom Line:Is Jessica Biel‘s fall from 7th Heaven a blessing or a curse? Too early to tell. So far she’s only shown she possesses a powerful set of lungs and can run really fast from chainsaw-wielding lunatics. This summer, she receives two invaluable opportunities to prove she’s more than just a lads mag pinup. She and Jamie Foxx try to catch a runaway jet in Stealth, and she pays a visit to Elizabethtown, directed by Jerry Maguire‘s Cameron Crowe. If Crowe had the good sense to replace Ashton Kutcher with Orlando Bloom, then he obviously wouldn’t compromise his comedy by casting Biel. But if Biel‘s turned out to be nothing more than the Elizabethtown fool, watch her quickly as she runs back to that haven for young hotties, the WB.
