If you have any real film taste, than you know that Chris Columbus‘ Home Alone starring Macaulay Culkin is one of the most masterful Christmas themed films of all time. Filled with humor and intrigue, the classic tale of a boy left alone for Christmas only to defend his family home against two malicious robbers is pretty freakin’ amazing. Still, despite watching the film countless times for over two and a half decades, there is still one mystery that has always remained. Who really was the “South Bend Shovel Slayer”?
In the film, Kevin McCallister’s older brother Buzz initially tells him that their neighbor, Old Man Marley was the same man who back in 1958 began murdering people with his shovel. Of course we know that that turns out to untrue because Old Man Marley is actually just a lonely kindly gentleman who needed a push to reconnect with his family. Though Old Man Marley’s name was cleared, reddit user Ohalrightmate has a number suspects still worth considering.
Uncle Frank
To be honest, Uncle Frank is the most likely suspect. First of all, he’s down right evil. Who tells a nine year old, “Get out of here you nosey little pervert, or I’m gonna slap you silly!” Ohalrightmate also recalls Uncle Frank’s other antics, “We see him in the shower cleaning blood and DNA from himself when Kevin tries to record him with his TalkBoy – he gets very defensive – exactly what you would except when a serial killer notices he is being recorded.”
Gus Polinski aka The Polka King of the Midwest
Gus Polinski and his motley crew are a bit weird to begin with, which is exactly why Kevin’s mom Kate is suspicious about taking a ride with them in the first place. (Always go with your first instinct!) However, the most disturbing thing about Gus is the fact that he, “laughs about leaving a kid in a funeral parlor ‘by mistake’, [and] rides around in a transit van full of other men.” Definitely shovel slayer material!
Officer Balzak
We never liked Officer Balzak because when Kevin’s mom called the police to check on him, Balzak was too busy chowing down on his powdered donut to even pretend to care about the fact that a child was in danger. As Ohalrightmate suggests he’s, “far too carefree and being in the police gives him the means…plus…Officer Ball Sack? Clearly a peedo.” OBVI!!!
Donald Trump
Donald Trump actually doesn’t actually appear until Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. However, he’s very suspicious because he left a little boy wandering around The Plaza hotel without even questioning him. According to Ohalrightmate, Trump, “fits the age and profile of the SBSS, seems awkward and overly keen to walk away from the camera as quickly as possible. Also clearly wears a dodgy disguise on his head – needs a closer look.” WE AGREE!! Something is definitely off about him!
