Friday, movie goers will have another Oz tale to fall in love with, just shy of 75 years after the original Wizard of Oz hit theaters. Oz the Great and Powerful gives us a different take on the classic tale, delivering the Emerald City’s famous wizard (James Franco) as he becomes the man behind the curtain and meets the witches (Mila Kunis, Michelle Williams, and Rachel Wiesz) who will later dictate the fate of one Dorothy Gale.
While it may appear that Disney’s take on Oz is the first attempt at extending the Oz universe in pop culture, the merry old land of Oz has actually been spawned into so many filmic, televisual, and textual adaptations that the pieces can’t even fit into one solid timeline (it’s got at least three that run parallel to each other). But did you know that amongst those adaptations are Korean comic books, game shows, and even some mild pornographic cartoons? Well, there are. And for those who make it to the bottom, prepare to have your entire childhood completely ruined. Spoiler alert?
Here are the 22 Oz adaptations you didn’t you needed (and a few no all-powerful wizard could erase from your fragile memory):
1. The One Where Dorothy is She-Hulk and The Cowardly Lion is Captain America.
The Avengers teamed up for Marvel’s Fairy Tales series to tell the story of Dorothy’s visit to Oz.
2. The One Inspired By Apocalypse Now.
Oh yeah, Heart of Darkness and Dorothy traipsing through Oz: totally the same thing. This is going to do some serious damage.
3. The Japanese Cartoon One That Takes Place in Space and Has the Best Theme Song Ever.
Alright, someone get me an MP3 of this cheestastic ’80s theme. It’s almost on Inspector Gadget level.
4. The One Where Dorothy Sounds Like Mickey Mouse.
This 1933 cartoon version makes Dorothy into a stout little cartoon lady who inexplicably has the same voice as every Silly Symphony character.
5. The One Where Dorothy Goes XXX.
The cover of Alan Moore’s comic book Lost Girls looks innocent, but inside its placid binding are pages of X-rated material involving Dorothy, Alice (of Alice in Wonderland), and Wendy Darling (from Peter Pan) and their sexually explicit adventures — sometimes with each other. Consider your childhood tainted.
6. The One Where It’s All In Turkish.
It’s all about those dance sequences, starting with the one at 3:58.
7. The One Where Oz is a Text Adventure Video Game.
Rivetting stuff. And that beep-laden music, oh my!
8. The One Where Oz is a Metaphor Used for Self-Help Teachings.
Don’t let “false wizards” tear your family apart. And never forget “there’s no place like home.” This is not a drill, folks.
9. The One Were It’s an Australian Rock Opera.
Get it? Because they call Australia “Oz”? And it’s rock ‘n’ roll because Dorothy is riding a motorcycle? Thank you for this incredible piece of cinema, 1976.
10. The One Where Dorothy is the Hero of a Korean Comic Book.
Okay angry nerds already formulating some comment for the bottom of this post, it’s actually Manhwa but most people have no idea what that is. Anyway, Dorothy kicks some serious ass in these comics. She also looks like she is strangling that poor dog. Perhaps there’s a darker storyline they’re not advertizing here…
11. The One Where Sweet, Little Dorothy Gets Electroshock Therapy.
Because, you know, thinking you went to a land of munchkins, tin men, and flying monkeys is totally bonkers.
12. The One With Multiple Singing Dorothys
BBC’s Over the Rainbow was a game show much like The Voice or American Idol aimed at finding a Dorothy and a Toto for the stage version of The Wizard of Oz. Sometimes it got a little creepy.
13. The Anime One Where Dorothy Looks Suspiciously Like Alice in Wonderland.
But really though, why isn’t she the plucky little brunette we’ve come to know and love?
14. The One That’s a Silent Movie of a Stageplay, Complete With Men Dressed as Donkeys and Cows.
Who knew a man in a cow suit could be so terrifying?
15. The One Starring Richard Dreyfus and Zooey Deschanel’s Surprised Face.
Back when SyFy was spelled properly (SciFi) they gave us an alternate regular world story about a regular girl who gets into a regular supernatural pickle. Regular.
16. The One Where a Ginger Dorothy is the Lead Character in a Final Fantasy-style Video Game.
Just watch her and her trusty companions spin! There’s nothing they can’t do!
17. The One We Can’t Post Here Because It’s Too Disturbing.
Seriously. This is f**ked up. NSFW, duh.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credits: Merie Wallace/Disney; Marvel; UDON; Top Shelf Comics; Hillcrest Publishing]