Welcome to Movie Musings with Laremy, a weekly feature that dives into the weekly happenings around the cinematic landscape.
1. Iron Man 2 gets a poster… and then another one.
Iron Man vs. War Machine. You’ve wanted it, now it’s here. Well, not exactly here, but five months away. What I wonder, late at night, when I’m sleepless in Seattle: are posters hopelessly anachronistic? Do kids still buy posters and put them on their wall? I don’t think they do. So we’re talking about pure marketing, which I can respect, only I wish they’d have given us a little more. Because what does this poster actually show? Iron Man will be prominently involved. War Machine is in the film. And it’s all dropping on our heads come May. Why not make a poster an actual event? Do a full-on War Machine version with the headline: Peace Machines are so ’60s. Show us a little imagination.
Bonus Random Thought: The weather in this poster seems really bad. Are they under a tropical storm advisory? Or are we to infer that a “storm is a brewin’?” Wouldn’t it have all worked better with an Assassination of Jesse James style landscape?
2. Superman is on hold.
The issues are numerous. Superman Returns wasn’t in step with our current expectations of a superhero movie. The rights are in legal limbo. And who the heck should direct / write / star in this thing? Well, I can’t fix issue one. That’s in the past, let’s all just agree to pretend it never happened. I’m guessing issue two goes away once someone ponies up $200 million to continue the franchise. The third question is the most important though, and only two names will work. First up, Joss Whedon. Does anyone else have the range which includes Serenity, Toy Story, and Speed? Whedon could deliver a PG-13 Supe that was relevant and mattered. Yeah, I know he went through the ringer with Joel Silver on Wonder Woman. I’ve got a solution for that too. Just give him complete creative control, banking all on his smarts. Conflicting visions for the character have led us to a dead end. It’s time to turn the reins over to the guy who makes dialogue sparkle. The other name? J.J. Abrams, of course. The only way you get a legit Superman is by wrestling control away from the producers. These guys already burned Bryan Singer. We gotta send a “no chance of failure” guy to the plate next.
Bonus Random Thought: Joss addressed the issues with writing Superman earlier in the year. But the man likes a challenge. Let’s give him one. Make him an offer he can’t refuse, before Supe becomes hopelessly irrelevant in the suerphero movie genre.
3. Paul Greengrass off Bourne 4.
Wait, what did you say? For a second there I thought you indicated Paul Greengrass was off Bourne 4, which would of course be sheer lunacy. Hmmmm? He IS off the project, due to a competing script? Well at least Matt Damon is still involved! What’s that? No Damon either? What is going on around here? Listen fellas, Bourne franchise has cleared nearly a billion dollars in box-office receipts. Let’s all sit down over a cafe latte and figure this thing out, eh?
Bonus Random Thought: Never underestimate the egos involved in productions of this magnitude. Because when you think about it, that’s really all that’s left. These people have money and fame, so what’s left to keep you motivated? Battles!
4. It’s about to be Sandra Bullock‘s world, with you paying rent.
What’s that I’m on about? Follow me on this one. The Blind Side is going to win the weekend at the box-office, and it probably won’t be all that close. Then she’s going to get an Oscar nomination for said Blind Side performance. Then we’re going to read stories about how the 45-year-old is “Back!” and “Rejuvenated” and “Seeking out New Oscar projects!” It’s going to happen, it’s going to start this weekend, and we’re all going to witness it. People get ready, there’s a train a comin’.
5. Breaking Dawn needs to be Rated R to work.
Alert sites across the world have detailed how “adult” the fourth book of the Twilight franchise is. There’s a bit of sex, some pregnancy, disturbing images, the works. So here’s my plan, a noble plan, a plan that will cost Summit hundreds of millions but gain them artistic integrity. Make Breaking Dawn a hard R. If it ends up being a two-part film, then make the final installment R-Rated. Think about it. By then, three years from now, a significant portion of your currently 15-year-old audience will be all grown up. They’ll be ready to transition into stronger entertainment. The Twi-Moms are already of age. Plus the film has a chance to be, you know, actually good if they don’t pull any punches. If you’re truly going to do the film, investing in the CGI, potentially paying off everyone for a fifth film, then make the film exactly as the book is presented. Don’t pan away from the carnage. Own it. In doing so you may not convert a new group of teens… but you’ll gain the lasting appreciation of everyone else.
Laremy is the lead critic and senior producer for a website named Film.com. He’s also available on Twitter, you know, for the kids.
