The Best of the ‘Last’ Movies
One aspect of a film’s script I can always stand behind is finality. If a film has the intent to completely turn its back on a character, a place, or an idea; to kill it off irrevocably, to draw a this-is-the-end line in the sand, or to happily write itself into a sequel-less corner, then I am all for it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen too much these days considering California passed a law not long ago that all Hollywood productions must end their films by introducing the possibility of a sequel (okay, I haven’t fact-checked to see if it’s a law, though it certainly seems that way), but that’s just all the more reason to look back fondly on films that do actually stick to the idea that their film/character/place/idea is indeed the last of its kind. Plus, having seen M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most people are going to want to have a list of films on hand to chase down the vile taste that dreadful, over-priced mess is going to leave in the back of their movie-loving mouths.
In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that hanging in my living room is a framed original UK quad poster of Nick Castle’s The Last Starfighter, so…yeah, I’m kind of a fan. But really, how can you not be? The movie’s about a teenager whose high score on an arcade game nets him a “save the universe” destiny. However, unlike most boy-of-destiny movies, there’s plenty of emphasis placed on Alex earning his spot as the last Starfighter. He doesn’t just fall into it and he’s not immediately good at it, but eventually he comes to terms with what he has to do of his own accord — not just because it’s what everyone else is expecting of him (cough, The Last Airbender, cough). Plus, Catherine Mary Stewart is a total ’80s babe, so it’s got that going for it…
Including The Last Boys Scout in a list of best “The Last…” movies is actually kind of cheating, simply because the film was written by Shane Black. It doesn’t matter what criteria you’re actually generating a list for; if Shane Black wrote it, it belongs on a list somewhere — that’s just a fact. That tidbit aside, The Last Boy Scout is one of the finest, most indulgent knows-its-place action movies of the ’90s. Bruce Willis nails the schlubby, everyman badass without simply re-creating the charm of Die Hard’s John McClane, and even Damon Wayans is believable as an action star. Plus, this was indeed one of the last great buddy action movies, which is depressing considering it’s now nearly 20 years old.
The Last Horror Movie
The Last Horror Movie is the kind of film that I recommend with the caveat that I like it a whole hell of a lot more than most people do, which is a diplomatic way of saying “most people think it’s only so-so.” If you don’t know what it’s about, I recommend checking it out blindly; it’ll make it considerably more effective. However, if you must know what it’s about: It revolves around a horror-movie-obsessed serial killer who begins taping his own murders. Now, I won’t say what he does with those tapes, but the result is certainly the smartest “found footage” horror movies to emerge out of the wake of The Blair Witch Project. Plus, it contains my favorite line of self-aware horror movie dialogue, which is delivered to a rich victim who lives in the middle of nowhere: “If you wanted to be saved, you should have owned less land.”
I’ll take some flak for this, but when whittling down this list I had to decide to include either The Last Samurai or The Last of the Mohicans (or Ferngully: The Last Rainforest), because, well, they’re basically the same story (Avatar would have been in the pool if Cameron managed to work “Last” into the title). It deeply pains me to pick an Edward Zwick movie over a Michael Mann movie under any circumstances, but The Last Samurai has the edge because it’s not quite as drawn-out as Mohicans, which is one of the benefits of making a movie specifically designed to be a crowd pleaser. Sure, it’s predictable, but it’s also a respectful hat-tip to the cinematic samurai of yesteryear, which is always welcome in my book.
Last Action Hero
A kid goes into a movie screen and then comes out of it being best friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger. The 13-year old inside me insists a story like that make this list.
Honorable Mentions:
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade – If only Kingdom of the Crystal Skull didn’t exist…
The Last Mimzy – A surprisingly sophisticated sci-fi movie for kids — at least for the first hour or so.
The Last Winter – An interesting “Nature gets revenge” flick with Ron Perlman. Worth a rental.
Last Life in the Universe – As far as Asian art-house cinema goes, Last Life in the Universe is considerably less pretentious than most, which is actually high praise even though it doesn’t sound like it.
Ferngully: The Last Rainforest – “Yo, the name is Batty / The logic is erratic / Potato in a jacket / Toys in the attic / I rock and I ramble / My brain is scrambled / Rap like an animal, but I’m a mammal.” Case closed.
