10.
The Villian: Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd
Who Played Them: Bruce Glover (Wint) & Putter Smith (Kidd)
The Film: Diamonds Are Forever
Why So Bad: Blofeld’s two extremely deadly assassins, who operate basically as one person, are also extremely polite and intelligent. They address one another as “Mr. Wint” and “Mr. Kidd,” and when one starts a sentence, the other finishes the line. You can imagine these two met when they were small boys, torturing kittens, burning ants with a magnifying glass or dropping poisonous snakes down girls’ dresses, all while quoting Sartre.
Best Line: “If at first you don’t succeed Mr. Kidd?” asks Mr. Wint. “Try, try again, Mr. Wint,” he replies.
[PAGEBREAK]
9.
The Villian: Xenia Onatopp
Who Played Her: Famke Janssen
The Film: Goldeneye
Why So Bad: This femme fatal is a former fighter pilot for the USSR and a henchwoman for the crime syndicate Janus. She’s a sadist and a masochist who enjoys taking her victims between her thighs and squeezing the life out of them as she screams with pleasure. Bond runs into her in Monte Carlo where he soon learns she’s working for ex-00 agent Alec Trevelyan. Bond later kills her when she attempts to attack him by rappelling down a rope connected to a helicopter. He simply shoots the pilot, causing her to crash into a tree.
Best Line: “This time, Mr. Bond, the pleasure will be all mine.”
[PAGEBREAK]
8.
The Villain: Dr. Julius No
Who Played Him: Joseph Wiseman
The Film: Dr. No
Why So Bad: He’s a former member of the Chinese mob, who stole millions to set up his own operation in Jamaica. After a series of disappointments including losing his hands to radioactivity and being rebuffed by fellow scientists around the world, he joins the SPECTRE organization in hopes of taking over the world. In the ultimate showdown, Bond and Dr. No fight to the death on a platform that descends into a pool of intense radioactivity. Bond manages to clamber up the metal framework but Dr. No’s mechanical hands simply can’t get a grip on the greasy rails. Buh-bye!
Best Line: “SPECTRE. Special Executive for Counter Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, Extortion. The four great cornerstones of power headed by the greatest brains in the world.”
[PAGEBREAK]
7.
The Villain: Dr. Kananga/Mr. Big
Who Played Him: Yaphet Kotto
The Film: Live and Let Die
Why So Bad: Dr. Kananga is one mean dude. With voodoo magic at his disposal, he is definitely one of the scarier Bond villains. As we learn, Kananga, a heroin grower, and Mr. Big, a heroin distributor, turn out to be one and the same. He has one master plan in mind (and this one is a doozy): he wants to corner the drug market by making heroin available to everyone, thus getting them addicted. Riiiiight. At the end of the film Bond and girlie sidekick Solitaire (Jane Seymour) are captured by Kananga, who tries to feed him to the sharks. Bond, however, makes Kananga swallow a compressed air pellet until he explodes. Boom.
Best Line: “Tee-hee, on Solitaire’s first wrong answer, you will snip the little finger of Mr. Bond’s left hand. On the next wrong answer, you will move on to more vital parts of his anatomy.”
KEEP READING: Auric Goldfinger
[PAGEBREAK]
6.
The Villain: Auric Goldfinger
Who Played Him: Gert Frobe
The Film: Goldfinger
Why So Bad: Goldfinger is probably one of the best-known Bond baddies — and best loved. He is all bravado and bluster but it’s his sheer greed we marvel at. To increase his stock of gold, which he hides by smuggling it from country to country, his ultimate plan is to blow up Fort Knox, making his gold worth 10 times as much. A man who doesn’t like to lose at anything and always likes to be in control, Goldfinger sorely underestimates James Bond. In the end, Goldfinger meets his demise when he’s sucked out of a decompressed plane (flown by none other than Pussy Galore).
Best Line: As Goldfinger tries to laser beam Bond in half — from the crotch up — James asks, “Do you expect me to talk?” To which Goldfinger replies, “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!”
[PAGEBREAK]
5.
The Villain: Le Chiffre
Who Played Him: Mads Mikkelsen
The Film: Casino Royale
Why So Bad: Le Chiffre is a mathematical genius suffering from Haemolacria (which causes him to weep blood), working as a banker for various terrorists including Quantum. When Bond foils an investment scam that costs him more than $100 million, Le Chiffre is forced to win the money back in a poker game. Bond outsmarts him in the end with a straight flush, enraging Le Chiffre who kidnaps Vesper and tortures Bond. Mr. White, from the Quantum organization steps in and shoots Le Chiffre in the forehead.
Best Line: [After striking Bond with a knotted rope] “You know, I never understood all these elaborate tortures. It’s the simplest thing…to cause more pain than a man can possibly endure.”
KEEP READING: Francisco Scaramanga
[PAGEBREAK]
4.
The Villain: Francisco Scaramanga
Who Played Him: Christopher Lee
The Film: The Man With the Golden Gun
Why So Bad: According to many, Scaramanga is perhaps one of the better if not the best villains in the Bond series because he is considered the darker side of Bond. Smooth, sophisticated and friendly as well as deadly, sly and evil, Scaramanga (aka The Man With the Golden Gun) understands Bond better than any other of 007’s foes. Perhaps it is because Lee brings out the best in the character. Yet, Scaramanga is still an insane mastermind, whose dream is to monopolize solar power and lure people to his island for a little game of assassins — but ultimately he can’t get the better of James. He foolishly challenges Bond to a duel and loses after Bond spots him trying to pretend he is a statue.
Best Line: “Ours is the loneliest profession, Mr. Bond.”
KEEP READING: Ernst Stavro Blofeld
[PAGEBREAK]
3.
The Villain: Ernst Stavro Blofeld
Who Played Him: Donald Pleasence, Telly Savalas and Charles Gray
The Films: You Only Live Twice ; On Her Majesty’s Secret Service ; Diamonds Are Forever
Why So Bad: This is the man of the hour — the head honcho at SPECTRE. When we first meet Blofeld in You Only Live Twice , he’s got a nasty scar on his face, not a lot of hair (how about none) and a white fluffy cat who lives on his lap. He’s calm, collected, has a plan for world domination, and always has a foolproof escape route (the cat comes along too, of course). In Secret Service, Blofeld loses the scar and the cat, but maintains that cool demeanor all while still trying to off his archenemy Bond. Finally, in Diamonds, one Blofeld isn’t enough — the villain clones himself while trying to amass a large supply of diamonds that will help him create the perfect weapon of destruction. You think Bond gets him in the end, but you can’t be sure. He’s a wily one.
Best Line: Pleasence: “Yes. Give him his cigarettes. It won’t be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond.”
[PAGEBREAK]
2.
The Villain: Oddjob
Who Played Him: Harold Sakata
The Film: Goldfinger
Why So Bad: As Goldfinger’s top henchman, Oddjob never says much, just a few nods and grunts here and there — but that’s OK, he doesn’t have to. He is menacing enough as is. Oddjob prefers to slice folks up using his super-sharp bowler hat but comes up with other innovative ways to kill them when the mood strikes (i.e., spray painting a woman with gold paint until she suffocates). He is Goldfinger’s chauffeur, bodyguard, caddy, and anything else his boss needs him for (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). But even this enterprising killer is no match for Bond. In their final confrontation, Bond gets the upper hand when he electrocutes Oddjob in an impressive death scene. When asked, “Where’s your butler friend?” Bond replies, “Oh, he blew a fuse.”
Best Line: “Aha!”
[PAGEBREAK]
1.
The Villain: Jaws
Who Played Him: Richard Kiel
The Films: The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker
Why So Bad: The most unique thing about Jaws, the ultimate Bond henchman, is that he turns good in the end! Armed with a mouth full of steel teeth, we first meet Jaws helping Karl Stromberg out in The Spy Who Loved Me. He’s ruthless, killing his victims vampire-style by biting into their necks. He’s not much of a talker, but he manages to cause Bond a great deal of trouble anyway. In Spy, 007 tries to send him to his death by dropping him into a pool of (what else?) sharks, but Jaws gets away. Because he was so popular, he comes back in Moonraker as Hugo Drax’s lead henchman and again menaces James. But something odd happens to Jaws — he falls in love. In the end, his girlfriend persuades him to let Bond go and Jaws supposedly lives out the rest of his life on a destroyed space station with his honey. Isn’t that sweet?
Best Line: Jaws’ only line in the series, “Well, here’s to us” from Moonraker.
