12 of the Best, Most Ridiculous Moments from MTV ‘Cribs’

With news that MTV is bringing back one of its best shows ever, MTV Cribs, via Snapchat series, it’s time to remember where the show began. From the hilarious tour of Ozzy Osbourne’s home which inspired his family to star in their own show, to the bizarre look at Mariah Carey’s NYC penthouse, this show gave us all the envy of the glamorous lives of our favorite stars. Here are the craziest, funniest, and coolest moments from the original Cribs.
1. The Osbournes

All the way back in 2000, the very first episode of Cribs aired on MTV, and it arguably changed reality TV forever. The first episode featured Ozzy Osbourne’s Los Angeles mansion, and it was the first glimpse that mainstream America got of Ozzy and his crazy, yet lovable family. This episode was so successful that it inspired the family and MTV to team up again for The Osbournes, which lasted for four seasons and is long cited as the most-viewed series on MTV, which is crazy given that MTV has also created The Real World, Jersey Shore, and Teen Mom, all huge reality juggernauts. As for further impact on reality TV, Ryan Seacrest has admitted that The Osbournes inspired him to create Keeping Up with the Kardashians, so basically — without MTV Cribs, there may not have been the Kardashians. Mind. Blown.

2. Kim Kardashian

MTV
MTV

Which brings us to 2007… just two months before KUWTK premiered on E!, Kim appeared on her very own episode of MTV Cribs, showing off her family’s Calabasas home. The entire episode is online and it’s worth viewing if only for the sheer nostalgia factor — Kim had to introduce us to “her sisters, Khloe and Kourtney,” while letting us know who her dad was. Bless. It’s so perfectly 2007, from Kim’s zip-up red hoodie to her expansive Louis Vuitton collection, and she shows off the stripper pole in her room, while demonstrating her “workout” moves on said pole. But what’s even better about the episode is how little has changed in the Kardashian empire since then. Kim discusses her forthcoming custom “rim line” as a promo for her DUB Magazine cover, which she picks up and sighs, “There’s nothing better to do on a Sunday than sit and read about yourself.” Just when you think everything’s changed, you realized that nothing has, especially when it comes to those crazy Kardashians.

3. Joey McIntyre

The boy bander appeared on an episode of Cribs in the show’s first season, showing off his lovely and historic New England home. His appearance is notable mainly because he shows off plenty of NKOTB memorabilia, which is awesome and adorable, but also because MTV played a Backstreet Boys song during his segment, and both bands later went on to tour together as NKOTBSB. Plus, Joey is the first of many celebs on the show to enter the bedroom and say “this is where the magic happens…” which would almost make us gag if he weren’t such a cutie. Long live NKOTB!

4. Aaron Carter

Back in 2003, Aaron Carter was actually a thing, so MTV decided to feature him on the show. Everything about this is gold: his house in Florida is so Florida, and Aaron is wearing a Tupac shirt with a red bandanna and a backwards baseball cap. I’m living for it. He gives a tour of the kitchen, saying it’s the “most important part” of his day, then says he doesn’t really know what’s in the refrigerator and doesn’t really cook. So if he’s not going in the fridge to eat food, and he doesn’t cook, I’m not sure I want to know what he’s doing in there. He takes us to his wing, which features purple mood lighting, a tiger shag rug, and a sword. He says, “I collect swords, I do not use them.  I hang them up on the walls… so make sure y’all do the same.” Ah, got it. He shows us the Carter family’s two yachts, three cars, and home recording studio. In case you weren’t already feeling bad about not being a member of the Carter family.

5. Trick Daddy

Rappers on Cribs were a dime a dozen, and they were all too eager to show off their sick whips, basketball courts, and expensive bottles of champagne, but Trick Daddy also felt the need to show us the baby wipes in his bathroom, which keep “boo boo stains out ya drawers.” He adds, “when you do the number 2, use Wet Ones.” Noted.

6. Destiny’s Child

This episode is classic because it’s Destiny’s Child at their peak, coordinated crop tops and all. Beyonce first says that it’s their home, but then kind of explains that Michelle doesn’t live there, further proving those #poormichelle memes. Solange also lives in the basement garage, adding that she hopes to have a fridge and a microwave soon. Poor Michelle? More like poor Solange! Bey’s parents lived there, too, so no one knows where Michelle lived. The ladies also had a “reflection room,” with their gold and platinum records on the wall, that they can look at and reflect on. No, I am not kidding. There’s plenty of Beyonce sass, and Kelly shows off a Candie’s shoe box filled with memories of ex-boyfriends… right around the time the group signed an endorsement deal with Candie’s. So obviously not much has changed here either.

7. Missy Elliott

Missy was such a baller she appeared on two episodes of Cribs, but this one showing off her Florida condo was particularly awesome. Missy showed us her Lamborghini furniture, submarine bedroom doors, Ferrari bed with a shoe rack that pops out of the “trunk” (I’m serious!) and the infamous fish tank chair. Only Missy Elliott would have a chair with fish tanks built into the armrests. She is an icon.

8. Ja Rule

This episode is legendary mainly because Ja didn’t even live there. His palatial Miami home wasn’t his — he was simply renting it for the weekend, and the owner of the house sued MTV for filming in it without his knowledge. LOL. Of course, we now know that plenty of stuff in reality TV is not real at all, so it’s not super shocking. Plus, Ja never actually says it’s “his” house, just that it’s a house. So there’s that…

9. Fat Joe

In the same vein as most rappers on Cribs, Joe seemed excited to show off his Paramus, NJ home… but it looked kind of like every other house in Paramus, NJ, so, ahem, sorry about that, Joe. He showed us the gym he doesn’t use, the books he doesn’t read, and explains that he enjoys looking out the window to collect his thoughts. He also carried a remote around the entire time for reasons I simply can’t explain.

10. Ludacris

Luda’s Atlanta home was pretty par for the course for a successful rapper of the early aughts, but his was the only one to feature “the biggest backyard in the world.” We can’t confirm if that’s actually true or not, but it’s definitely impressive.

11. Richard Branson

The British entrepreneur and billionaire is the proud owner of the priciest pad ever to be featured on the show, and he has his own private island — seriously. Can you even consider this a crib if it’s literally surrounded by crystal blue waters? When Mariah Carey is casually hanging out in the patio hut that costs $46k a night to rent, you know you’ve reached the ultimate baller status… which leads me to…

12. Mariah Carey

Probably the most infamous Cribs episode ever, Mariah’s NYC penthouse received an hour long special all in its honor, which is definitely a feat given how many massive mansions the show featured in probably a quarter of that time. She showed off her abode in the most ridiculous, over-the-top way, such as bringing us into her bathroom, her favorite spot in the house, but saying she’s only used the shower once. Why, you may ask? “Too many knobs.” She gets into the tub while wearing a towel, declares she has Marilyn Monroe’s piano but won’t show it to us, and got on the StairMaster in stiletto heels, as only Mariah could. Her episode of Cribs is basically the only one that matters, actually.

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