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ROLE CALL: Martin Scorsese Married to the Mob?

Late-breaking Martin Scorsese news: He’s gonna make a mob movie!

Martin Scorsese No, really.

We know it sounds like a stretch. We know you can’t possibly imagine the director of “Goodfellas,” “Casino” and “Mean Streets” making a mob movie, but here it is: According to today’s Daily Variety, the filmmaker is developing a flick about a real-life World War II Marine who became a gangsta kingpin in Japan after the war. The project’s to be based on the book “Tokyo Underworld” by Robert Whiting.

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We love it when artists stretch.

DÉJÀ VU: Late-breaking Courtney Love news: She’s gonna play a spunky grrrl-power heroine.

No, really.

We know it sounds like a stretch. We know you can’t possibly imagine the tough-talkin’ frontwoman of alt-rock band Hole playing the tough-talkin’ leader of a space expedition, but here it is: According to Variety, Love is the likely star of the planned horror/sci-fi flick, “John Carpenter’s Ghost of Mars,” to be directed by John Carpenter, but of course.

We love it when artists stretch.

DÉJÀ VU ALL OVER AGAIN: Late-breaking Kevin Spacey news: He’s gonna be in a big ol’ prestige picture!

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No, really.

We know it sounds like a stretch. We know you possibly can’t imagine the Oscar-nominated Serious Actor Guy of “American Beauty,” “The Usual Suspects” and “L.A. Confidential” starring in yet another Serious Actor Guy movie, but here it is: According to (yes) Variety, Spacey is being pursued for “Shipping News,” a romantic drama that once was going to star John Travolta, but isn’t anymore.

Do we love it when artists stretch?

Nah, it makes us feel so inadequate.

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