‘Jersey Shore’ Season 3 Promo Shows A New Guidette

The third season of Jersey Shore premieres on January 6th, not too long after Snooki and the rest of the cast unfairly take advantage of your profoundly extreme inebriation and convince you to fist bump your way out of 2010. This season, the cast will be returning to their old stomping ground in Seaside Heights, which is good news to everyone who tuned in to watch the Miami season and was disappointed they only got mathematical equations that represented the rate at which Ronnie’s stretchmarks grew. What’s most promising is the fact that we’ll meet a new girl! Her name is Deena, she looks like Puss in Boots, and she says she and Snooki are like little meatballs. I’m behind the entire thing.